universal_charm | [ Voice ] Don't Mind the Ingredients, Look at the Cake

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[ Voice ] Don't Mind the Ingredients, Look at the Cake

[ So, Luceti, have a captain hailing you through the frequencies at an hour that may or may not be respectable, but he's not asleep when he should be, his mind is whirring, and these are the things he thinks of asking when he has trouble sleeping. ]

So, does anyone have any empty beer bottles, beer cans, or soda cans laying around? I want to try something. Uh, you can just drop them off at my place if you want, no need to hand them off in person. Just don't throw them through the windows, k? I don't want Nymeria chewing on them.

I'm... not sure she actually would, but I don't want to get blamed if she gets sick.

[ Seriously, you ever had a girl with Arya's spunk and little glare angry at you? Not fun.

And in the mean time, he'll rattle of his house number for anyone who actually wants to get up and drop off said items at this hour.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

With bottles.

I always thought the classic mode of getting one's hands dirty was gardening.

I do most of my work in space, and the only farm I lived on never had a lick of green on it. Gardening is probably the worst possible thing for me to do. I am literally surprised every time fresh vegetables don't just rot in my hands when I pick them up.

That would be a real trick.

Do tell me you won't be building terrible dust catchers that all your friends will feel obligated to keep on their book shelves and coffee tables.

No, I promise you, I'm not. I am not that sad and lonely just quite yet.

Good. Otherwise I'd send Lady Rapunzel at you and have her teach you to knit.

I thought Rapunzel was the one that liked to bake.

The two aren't mutually exclusive, you know.

No, I guess not. But she is the one that bakes, right? We don't have a second girl named from a fairy tale that can spin straw into gold wandering around?

I don't think I've ever seen her do that.

Ah, well, don't think she can, but that's the tale from my world. It's very, very old, but it's managed to stick around a long time, that's for sure.

Maybe I ought to ask her. Some tales have a grain of truth.

Others... well.

Yeah, we covered your not so truthful tale already. Is it okay if I was kind of disappointed it wasn't real?

You dirty man. I don't know what it says about you.

Let's just call it me being kinky.

How twisted. I like that.

Haha, I thought you might! It seems right up your alley.

How well you know me.

Well, at any rate, I haven't any... bits witch which you can build, but I'll keep you in mind.

Yeah, it's okay.

I've be kind of surprised if you did. It's hard to imagine you with a beer bottle in your hand.

I sometimes have a wine bottle about.

That's a bit fancy for me, I think. If it's got a flute, it's not for me.

Getting picky about your leavings now.

My leavings? I think you went archaic on me there.

[Dryly:] As everyone is find of telling me, I am horrifically ancient

Horrific might be a strong word for it. I mean, you've not mummified yet.

I moisturize.

Haha, I can think of a number of cosmetic industries that would love to get your secret then.

I never tell my secrets.

Shame for all you wrinkly little monkeys.

I think I'll age a bit better than a monkey, thanks.

Shows how many monkeys you've known.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Voice ] Don't Mind the Ingredients, Look at the Cake

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