The married bit. Tim makes a face, but it disappears quickly. "I dunno. I guess. General wisdom was...don't get more people involved than need to be involved. Relationships are liabilities. I mean, it was probably the same for you, right? You're a leader back home, too."
“Yes, I’m a leader, but I don’t think relationships are liabilities.
They’re a source of strength and comfort. They come in various forms, and I
love quite a few people on that ship very strongly, if not precisely in a
romantic way. But being married or having a partner is more difficult when
they aren’t on the ship - it’s not very fair to them, is it? Me gone months
at a time, even years,” he shrugged. “I can’t expect someone to wait that
long. I wouldn’t. And I’m not giving up what I do, for anyone.”
His fingers found a small strand of dark hair and twisted it back and forth
around his finger.
“Relationships are what you make of them, and what you put into them.
Categorizing them as liabilities is... I suppose it’s a sad way to look at
them.”
Tim's fidgeting slows some, down to a simple, ticking tap of his thumb at the top of Jim's head. Beyond that, he listens at full attention, brow bending a little lower as Jim goes on. The idea that his attitude is sad had never occurred to him, but it fits the soreness in his chest almost perfectly when he thinks about it. He's been trying to name the horrible feeling for years.
The fit is disturbing. Tim glances away, frowning. He is not sad. He won't be. "The people on your ship--why aren't those relationships romantic? It solves your issue of a time commitment. You love them. So..."
“I do love them,” he agreed. “There’s a few I think could be romantic, but
they just - arent. For one, Spock - and don’t tell James this - is in a
relationship with Uhurah, so I would be a real ass to make a move on him
even as much as I might want to. But I do love him. And Bones - I don’t
know. We could be as well but it’s just never come up. Maybe we’re both
avoiding it actually,” he snorted, shaking his head.
“Chekov I love like a little brother. Sulu as a brother and he’s married
with a kid besides. Scotty is like your crazy cousin you love coming into
town who’s to smart for his own good sometimes.”
There were some ethical issues to consider given rank, but at least Spock
and Bones were close enough in rank and they had known each other long
enough that might not be such a concern. No, it wouldn’t be. He knew that.
His fingers slipped down and trailed over his arm and shoulder, stroking
softly.
Tim settles back, rests his cheek on Jim's shoulder to listen. To watch his fingers skim Tim's arm. He lets the names sit for a while, trying to run through as many as he can to commit them to memory. "...Will you go back? When we get out of here?"
“I’m going to try,” he nodded, his hand continuing its lazy path over Tim’s
skin. “It’s my home. And they’re my family. I have to try and go back.” He
was quiet for a beat or two. “I want to take James with me. He thinks he
doesn’t deserve to go there, but he does. But it’s all right. I have time
to figure out a way to convince him. You’re welcome to come too, if you
want. I think planet exploring will suit you.”
He smiled down at Tim, kissing the top of his head.
It's the first time he's gotten an offer like that. Even if it doesn't feel super deserved, it makes Tim smile. "Me too, huh? What am I gonna do on the ship?"
“I think you could keep my security team on their toes,” he chuckled,
drumming his fingers down Tim’s back, playing along his spine. “I think
you’d have fun being on the planet exploration teams.”
"I'm good with research. I'm good with data collection." There's no way Jim has missed the piles of notebooks on Tim's dresser here, his collection of logs since his arrival. "What are you gonna do with James? Are you bringing Shion too?"
“If he wants to come. And James - well I haven’t quite figured that out
yet, but something that will keep him close. If he’ll let me. That or he’ll
cause all kinds of chaos and really that’s just par for the course for a
James Tiberius Kirk of any universe,” he laughed.
“Anyone who wants to come, they’re welcome to. I’ll find someplace for them
and the brass will just have to deal with it. And honestly that won’t even
be the craziest thing I’ve done.”
"That's insane." Tim grins, lifting his head to knit fingers under his chin."What happens if you don't like half the people once you get back home with them? Once you get stuck on a ship with them? It's not like you can send them back to the breeder."
"No, I can't, but the universe is vast. I am sure we can find some place for everyone to be comfortable," he nodded. "I would want you on my ship, though I have the feeling Star Fleet will demand you at least attend the Academy, as is right. But I can pull strings there and get you back on the ship." He nodded to himself. "I did it for Jaylah - she'll start as soon as she can board a ship back to Earth."
"...I have to go home." Tim admits at last, even if Star Fleet sounds fascinating. Even if Academy sounds fascinating. His smile is cooler as he plants his hands on the mattress and pushes up. "I like the offer, though. I've never been to space, but...but I have to go home."
His hands slid to grasp Tim around his biceps, watching him, watching the way his expression cooled. Before Tim could slip away, he shifted and turned them, pinning Tim down to the mattress. Softly he leaned in, kissing his forehead.
"I know. I would turn you down if the offers were reversed," he said gently. "Still, I think you'd look cute in a Security sector uniform."
There's a little bit of warning in the way Jim moves, but Tim still gasps as he's rolled over. Jim's weight between his legs draws a shudder out of him--but Tim breaks into a smile when that kiss lands. His legs lace around Jim's waist, fingers spidering over his knees. "Well, you didn't mention the cute uniform. That changes everything."
"I have it, you know, if you ever wanted to see it," Kirk shifted the angle of his hips, letting more of his weight come down and shallowly rocking back and forth. "The uniform, I mean. Mine's yellow though - command track. You would be in red, which, still, very cute. As we have learned, red a beautiful color on you."
He grinned, only a little wicked, as he leaned in and nipped at his earlobe and down his neck.
"Red's--ah--" His chin tilts up, neck stretching out under Jim's lips. The pressure between his legs, Jim working down his throat are both wonderful distractions from all the negative feelings that crop up when he thinks about this, leaving room only for the sweet stuff: "--Red's the color of my uniform back home, too. S'pretty cute, too, but--but it's basically a--tactical chastity device."
"That is a description I never thought I would hear," he laughed, trying to imagine it and failing, though he kept his focus on working his teeth along Tim's jaw and along his neck, over his shoulder. His hips kept up their subtle grinding and rolling, just enough to bring a pleasant heat of friction without really encouraging either of them to rise to the occasion again. Yet.
Tim laughs, high and breathy, hands sweeping slowly up Jim's sides--following his muscles as they move, pinching in when that friction starts to get a little too encouraging. "I wouldn't exactly call it fun. Think of like--if a--a scuba suit and a race--a racing jacket had a baby. Fuck, Jim--careful."
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universal_charm) wrote2024-05-07 12:10 am
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“Yes, I’m a leader, but I don’t think relationships are liabilities. They’re a source of strength and comfort. They come in various forms, and I love quite a few people on that ship very strongly, if not precisely in a romantic way. But being married or having a partner is more difficult when they aren’t on the ship - it’s not very fair to them, is it? Me gone months at a time, even years,” he shrugged. “I can’t expect someone to wait that long. I wouldn’t. And I’m not giving up what I do, for anyone.”
His fingers found a small strand of dark hair and twisted it back and forth around his finger.
“Relationships are what you make of them, and what you put into them. Categorizing them as liabilities is... I suppose it’s a sad way to look at them.”
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The fit is disturbing. Tim glances away, frowning. He is not sad. He won't be. "The people on your ship--why aren't those relationships romantic? It solves your issue of a time commitment. You love them. So..."
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“I do love them,” he agreed. “There’s a few I think could be romantic, but they just - arent. For one, Spock - and don’t tell James this - is in a relationship with Uhurah, so I would be a real ass to make a move on him even as much as I might want to. But I do love him. And Bones - I don’t know. We could be as well but it’s just never come up. Maybe we’re both avoiding it actually,” he snorted, shaking his head.
“Chekov I love like a little brother. Sulu as a brother and he’s married with a kid besides. Scotty is like your crazy cousin you love coming into town who’s to smart for his own good sometimes.”
There were some ethical issues to consider given rank, but at least Spock and Bones were close enough in rank and they had known each other long enough that might not be such a concern. No, it wouldn’t be. He knew that.
His fingers slipped down and trailed over his arm and shoulder, stroking softly.
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“I’m going to try,” he nodded, his hand continuing its lazy path over Tim’s skin. “It’s my home. And they’re my family. I have to try and go back.” He was quiet for a beat or two. “I want to take James with me. He thinks he doesn’t deserve to go there, but he does. But it’s all right. I have time to figure out a way to convince him. You’re welcome to come too, if you want. I think planet exploring will suit you.”
He smiled down at Tim, kissing the top of his head.
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“I think you could keep my security team on their toes,” he chuckled, drumming his fingers down Tim’s back, playing along his spine. “I think you’d have fun being on the planet exploration teams.”
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“If he wants to come. And James - well I haven’t quite figured that out yet, but something that will keep him close. If he’ll let me. That or he’ll cause all kinds of chaos and really that’s just par for the course for a James Tiberius Kirk of any universe,” he laughed.
“Anyone who wants to come, they’re welcome to. I’ll find someplace for them and the brass will just have to deal with it. And honestly that won’t even be the craziest thing I’ve done.”
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"I know. I would turn you down if the offers were reversed," he said gently. "Still, I think you'd look cute in a Security sector uniform."
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He grinned, only a little wicked, as he leaned in and nipped at his earlobe and down his neck.
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"Also sounds like a fun challenge."
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