[Baby steps were for the best. Lance gives a nod, ordering the beverage in question.
He gives a hum of approval once he takes his first sip... It really is kind of like lemonade. Sort of. It kind of has a bit of a rubbing alcohol mix to it, and he isn't entirely sure if vodka is what he's into, but the lemon part is the right sweet and sour.]
People mock cocktails, but they taste the best out of anything, honestly,
and if want alcohol for the money? They're better by far. Let's get some
carbs over here to help with that, though, otherwise it'll go right to your
head.
I'm gonna be honest, this really does taste a lot better than beer. Like, a lot a lot.
[He's only tried beer a couple of times (mostly, sneaking some back at the Garrison like the cool obviously rebel teen he was), but never much cared for it. This is better.]
Beer is fermented oats with piss in it, most of the time. I drink it, but
I'm never going to tell someone it tastes good.
[ He wrinkled his nose and took a sip of his own said beer. No,
definitely not a good taste, but it was the drink of choice when he wanted
to keep most of his wits. That higher metabolism meant it took longer for
it all to go to his head. ]
Back when I was at the Garrison, some other classmates used to get the older cadets to buy them beer. I had a few of them at the parties we definitely weren't allowed to have, but I never liked it much.
[The second part, though... He takes a nice, long sip of his cocktail before he gets started.]
It was! We were still definitely in our honeymoon phase. Everything was going perfect. We even went on a date, and...
[Well, some things may or may not have happened in a hotel.]
But now there's a huge problem, because I went to visit him one morning and... He's a kid. Keith is a literal kid right now. Something in this place glitched him for whatever, and he looks and acts like he's nine years old.
A date and things we're not discussing yet when I'm still sober and complaining about him being a literal kiddie.
[Hmph.]
Ugh, yeah, that'd be--ew. Nope, even if he was that young, diaper duty is going to someone else. I am noooooot going to be doing that with a bitty version of my boyfriend.
[ Kirk laughed and nudged at the other with his foot. Oh, young love.
At least it was refreshing to hear the other express limits. He always had
to roll his eyes at the drama of teen romance when they practically threw
themselves on swords they did not need to be dying on. ]
Well, just think of it this way. If your love can survive this test, you're
golden.
Couple goals? If I can handle taking care of the boyfriend as a nine year old for...however long this is gonna be, then yeah. It really must be meant to be. Not that putting up with him isn't pure insanity to begin with.
[But there's a fond smile on his face; it's a pure insanity he's learned to embrace.]
[ Kirk saw that smile and he huffed softly. He could understand the
feeling. Putting up with Fenris could be a trial some days, especially when
he was in a mood, but it was always worth it. Remy was easier, in a way,
but equally challenging. It was one of the reasons he liked the both of
them, unique in their own ways, equally challenging. He reached out and
ruffled Lance's hair. ]
It'll pass. It's just an Atroma trick, messing with you. So stick it out -
like a good babysitter.
Yeah, yeah... I mean, at least I'm good at babysitting. I was--am-- the youngest in my family, but I ended up usually being the one to take care of my nieces and nephews. Tio Lance was their favorite uncle.
[He nods, smiling. It's a little wistful; even after all this time, he still feels terribly homesick.]
I'm just the coolest, though you already know that. Plus, I know how to only be as strict as I need to be to keep them safe and in line. I know all the terrors well enough to personalize everything.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
universal_charm) wrote2024-04-11 06:26 pm
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[He knows exactly what he's doing. Totally.]
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You'd be in the clear, but let's start you with some baby steps first. A lemon vodka?
[ Basically lemonade with alcohol, but since he was getting the idea Lance was not a connoisseur of adult beverages - baby steps. ]
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He gives a hum of approval once he takes his first sip... It really is kind of like lemonade. Sort of. It kind of has a bit of a rubbing alcohol mix to it, and he isn't entirely sure if vodka is what he's into, but the lemon part is the right sweet and sour.]
Huh, that's actually really good.
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People mock cocktails, but they taste the best out of anything, honestly, and if want alcohol for the money? They're better by far. Let's get some carbs over here to help with that, though, otherwise it'll go right to your head.
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[He's only tried beer a couple of times (mostly, sneaking some back at the Garrison like the cool obviously rebel teen he was), but never much cared for it. This is better.]
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Beer is fermented oats with piss in it, most of the time. I drink it, but I'm never going to tell someone it tastes good.
[ He wrinkled his nose and took a sip of his own said beer. No, definitely not a good taste, but it was the drink of choice when he wanted to keep most of his wits. That higher metabolism meant it took longer for it all to go to his head. ]
So, what had you so desperate to get out?
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Back when I was at the Garrison, some other classmates used to get the older cadets to buy them beer. I had a few of them at the parties we definitely weren't allowed to have, but I never liked it much.
[The second part, though... He takes a nice, long sip of his cocktail before he gets started.]
Keith. Keith has become a literal terror child.
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Fun fact, no one actually likes beer. It's just cheap.
[ Seriously. Find him one person who said they actually liked it, instead of just buying it because it was the cheapest thing to get drunk on. ]
I kind of thought your honeymoon phase would last a lot longer than that.
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It was! We were still definitely in our honeymoon phase. Everything was going perfect. We even went on a date, and...
[Well, some things may or may not have happened in a hotel.]
But now there's a huge problem, because I went to visit him one morning and... He's a kid. Keith is a literal kid right now. Something in this place glitched him for whatever, and he looks and acts like he's nine years old.
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A date and what?
[ Sorry Lance, he’s not letting that one go. ]
Oh that’s rough. At least you’re not having to change his diapers though?
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[Hmph.]
Ugh, yeah, that'd be--ew. Nope, even if he was that young, diaper duty is going to someone else. I am noooooot going to be doing that with a bitty version of my boyfriend.
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[ He laughed at that, the glint in his eyes a teasing one as he sipped from his beer. ]
Ah, so your love has a limit.
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[He wrinkles his nose, taking a gulp of his drink.]
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[ Kirk laughed and nudged at the other with his foot. Oh, young love. At least it was refreshing to hear the other express limits. He always had to roll his eyes at the drama of teen romance when they practically threw themselves on swords they did not need to be dying on. ]
Well, just think of it this way. If your love can survive this test, you're golden.
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[But there's a fond smile on his face; it's a pure insanity he's learned to embrace.]
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[ Kirk saw that smile and he huffed softly. He could understand the feeling. Putting up with Fenris could be a trial some days, especially when he was in a mood, but it was always worth it. Remy was easier, in a way, but equally challenging. It was one of the reasons he liked the both of them, unique in their own ways, equally challenging. He reached out and ruffled Lance's hair. ]
It'll pass. It's just an Atroma trick, messing with you. So stick it out - like a good babysitter.
[ Okay, so he can't resist on teasing jab. ]
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[He nods, smiling. It's a little wistful; even after all this time, he still feels terribly homesick.]
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Big family huh? Must have been nice. Crazy, I imagine, but nice. What did you do to become the favorite uncle? I mean, that's quite the achievement.
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So you're good at management is what I'm hearing.
[ He smirked at him, leaning back and downing the last of his drink, signaling for another round for himself. ]