Chekov stopped working and didn't return the hug so much as slump quietly into it. "I wish that people I care about would not hope that I find the fact that they understand my distress because they have also experienced it comforting." His tone is sadder than the words themselves are. "Suffering is something that I would prefer to do alone."
"Don't be ridiculous, Chekov," he huffed against the other's shirt. "We
aren't meant to shoulder all our burdens alone. I don't want you to
shoulder this one alone. Definitely not this one. And it's okay to not want
to, or to lean on someone." He realized what he said was a touch
hypocritical, but Chekov was not himself, nor did he want him to be.
"I'm much too Russian to lean too much on anyone," he replied with a strained smile. "We feel immensely unfulfilled if there is not enough suffering in our lives."
Just in case that wasn't redirection enough, he returned to Kirk's injury. "You may need stitches. I wish that there was a dermal regenerator in this universe."
"Hopefully the next time Bones pops in he will have one on him," Kirk
murmured, accepting the redirection for what it was, though he noted to
himself to check in with Chekov later.
If there was a later. He couldn't force him to feel a certain way or to
come to terms with this, he needed to do that on his own, but he just
wanted him to know that he wasn't alone and could talk if he wanted to. If
he needed to. The last thing Kirk wanted was for Chekov to feel isolated
and alone. He knew the pain of that, and did not wish it on the young man
he saw as a brother.
"Maybe he will be able to fix whatever damage I do to you today." He smiled weakly, grateful to at least delay further conversation.
Chekov knew that he wasn't alone here. He had Kirk and shipmates and Kitty and a number of other friends. But Kirk had forgotten him before, Kitty fell in love with someone else, the friends he had made in other universes had left, and at some point Chekov had accepted that the only person who would never leave or forget him was himself. A sense of isolation had been inevitable after nearly four years of being left behind.
But he would try. Not now, but after they were off of this planet, he would try to accept the help that was being offered.
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universal_charm) wrote2024-04-11 06:26 pm
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"Don't be ridiculous, Chekov," he huffed against the other's shirt. "We aren't meant to shoulder all our burdens alone. I don't want you to shoulder this one alone. Definitely not this one. And it's okay to not want to, or to lean on someone." He realized what he said was a touch hypocritical, but Chekov was not himself, nor did he want him to be.
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Just in case that wasn't redirection enough, he returned to Kirk's injury. "You may need stitches. I wish that there was a dermal regenerator in this universe."
no subject
"Hopefully the next time Bones pops in he will have one on him," Kirk murmured, accepting the redirection for what it was, though he noted to himself to check in with Chekov later.
If there was a later. He couldn't force him to feel a certain way or to come to terms with this, he needed to do that on his own, but he just wanted him to know that he wasn't alone and could talk if he wanted to. If he needed to. The last thing Kirk wanted was for Chekov to feel isolated and alone. He knew the pain of that, and did not wish it on the young man he saw as a brother.
no subject
Chekov knew that he wasn't alone here. He had Kirk and shipmates and Kitty and a number of other friends. But Kirk had forgotten him before, Kitty fell in love with someone else, the friends he had made in other universes had left, and at some point Chekov had accepted that the only person who would never leave or forget him was himself. A sense of isolation had been inevitable after nearly four years of being left behind.
But he would try. Not now, but after they were off of this planet, he would try to accept the help that was being offered.