[He takes the pain of his fingers surprisingly well. He knows this is terrible news for Kirk to hear, worse so to know he slept through it. He could well imagine the guilt churning in his captain's mind currently. As such, he bears it, watching him with a quiet sadness, wishing to offer comfort, but not finding the right words to do so.
His fingers move to the back of Kirk's head as he rests against his shoulder. His fingers brush through the hairs on the back of his neck, an attempt at soothing him. ]
Fine. It was exhausting, but I am fine.
[Most of the deceased were strangers to him, aside from Kaidan. Besides, grief is not something he tends to wallow in. Death is something he accepts with the horrible finality it usually is. Perhaps they will return, perhaps they will not. It is all out of their hands. He doesn't voice it, he doesn't want to appear heartless, especially not now. It would only make it harder for Kirk in the long run. ]
[ Kirk is grateful for what Fenris can offer, the touch on the back of his neck. God, it felt so good. He turned his head to nuzzle at his neck, listening quietly, thinking perhaps there might be more there. But pushing Fenris was always a dangerous game, and if there was one thing he did not want to do right now it was cause an argument.
So he lifted his head, touching their foreheads in quiet acceptance but the unspoken offer to hear more if he wished. Pulling back, he smacked his lips and grimaced. ]
Are you to exhausted to help me to the bathroom then? I desperately need to brush my teeth.
[ Among other things - like piss - but he didn't feel the need to say that part aloud. Standing, however, seemed a touch daunting after so long abed, his muscles tight in very unpleasant ways. ]
[A wise choice, on Kirk's part. He closes his eyes, tilting his head a little, allowing the nuzzling- enjoying it, honestly. It was a relief, that Kirk was back, a relief that he allowed to wash over him. At his question, he chuckles softly. ]
Yes. You absolutely need to do that.
[If you ever need brutal honesty, Fenris is the one to turn to. He slips off the bed to stand, offering his free hand. ]
[ Kirk's joints took their time remembering how to move, mouthing the word 'ow' again and again as his knees popped and muscles to long unused warmed. He took Fenris' hand, pushing himself up and looping an arm around the smaller man's shoulders. God, he felt like an old man. Hopefully that went away soon with a good teeth brushing, a piss, and a shower. ]
Do you mind hanging around while I shower? You know, just in case I fall.
[ So asked just before he stuck a tooth brush in his mouth, feeling better just at the first scrub. Minty fresh. First his mouth, and then his body. He didn't think it was to bad, but if nothing else it should warm up his muscles and help him wake up some more. A jump start, so to speak. ]
[ A humming sound of acknowledgement was all he could manage as he
scrubbed, vigorously working at his tongue. God, why did the human mouth
get so disgusting overnight? Or, well, over several nights in his case? A
spit and rinse and he began to feel a little more human, looking to the
showers hungrily. ]
Mind getting it started while I undress? You won't miss anything, promise.
[ He flashed his trade marked smile, leaning back against the sink to
start working out of his clothes. Fingers fumbled with buttons and zippers,
hands not quite understanding complex movement after so long with barely a
twitch. ]
Damn, if this is what getting old is going to be like...
[Fenris nods, turning to busy himself with the shower, turning it on and holding his hand under it, waiting for it to get to a comfortable temperature. That done, he turns to Kirk, smiling softly to himself. ]
I'm sure it's not all that bad.
[He moves to step in front of Kirk, far more deft fingers moving in, opening the button of his shirt for him.]
[ Kirk relented, choosing to simply watch Fenris instead. It felt so
good to see him again. For a while there, in his dreams, he thought Fenris
had begun to grow fuzzy. Remy too, and Kaidan. Kitty. Kara. Kurt. Everyone
in the fleet losing clarity in the dreams, softening around the edges like
watercolors. His arms reached up and wrapped around Fenris, tugging him
close when his clothing was undone. ]
Thank you, for reading to me - you know, while I was asleep. You've
improved.
[Fenris allows Kirk to pull him in, pressing his face to the man's chest and breathing him in, glad to have him there. Moreso than he could ever put into words. A soft chuckle rumbles out of his chest. ]
I am glad to hear it. And I wished to keep you company, while you slept. I did not like the thought of you being alone.
[ He slid his fingers through the silver hair, petting the elf quietly. It grounded him, reminded him he was no longer dreaming - and wasn't that a trip? He thought he was over those sort of slightly paranoid filled illusions, but he supposed not. His lips quirk at the feeling of the rumble, tilting his head to press his nose against Fenris' scalp, humming as his scent filled his nose. ]
Yeah, I don't like the thought of being alone either. Or you being alone. I'm sorry that I left you alone, especially with what happened.
[Fenris lets his eyes close at the feeling of Kirk's fingers threading through his hair, taking comfort in the small action. Everything had been awful, and there were times he had honestly worried if he had been doing the right thing- if Kirk's decision to make him First Mate had been an incorrect one. Had he truly done enough? He did not know.]
It is fine, it is not the first time.
[That...came out wrong. He sighs, frustrated.]
I mean. I am capable of dealing with things alone. You need not worry about me. I have survived worse.
Yeah, well, a little late for that. I worry anyways, even though I know you're strong. Besides, it's not about if you're capable or not. When you care about someone, you just don't want them facing the tough things alone anyways.
[ He looked up and over at the shower, steaming now. ]
Like a shower after a coma.
[ A rub along Fenris' back to get him to let him up and shrug out of his clothing. Ship rules - no wasting water. He could hold Fenris later, be more effective at it with muscles that were more awake and limber. Not to mention he was sure he would smell better. Yes, shower first - most definitely, practically a siren call now. ]
I understand, but I promise I am alright. I wished to focus on keeping the crew safe.
[None of them died, so that's...a win, right? Probably. He stands to one side, to allow Kirk to move to his shower, doing as he promised and staying for him. ]
Well, I would not wish for you to fall and bang your head. You've only just woken up.
I knew I was right in picking you as my first mate.
[ He squeezed Fenris' shoulder and manages to get beneath the spray on his own. He groaned aloud as the heat sank in, and for a moment he thought there might be a real possibility he would orgasm from that sensation alone. He scrubbed water against his skin and through his hair, slicking it back and breathing in the steam. ]
Ooooh, this is the best shower I've ever had.
[ He opened his eyes and looked to Fenris, casting him one of those flirtatious smiles. Clearly his spirits were lifting. ]
[He feels pride swell in his chest at the comment, more so than he expected it ever would. ]
I am glad that I did not let you down when it mattered.
[Oh, Maker, that groan. Fenris' eyes darken in reaction to it as they rake up the length of Kirk's body. A smirk tugs at his lips, as his pulse increases. There's a real temptation to disrobe and join him. To press him up against the shower wall and very much undo any cleaning going on.]
Oh, I can see that much for myself. [He hesitates. It's not just that Kirk is probably trying to process his losses that makes him pause. They promised to be honest with one another, and he would be remiss if he said nothing. ]
...I should warn you. Adalwolfe and Anders have returned...if you remember them from last time. They transferred onto this ship together for some Maker-damned reason.
[ Kirk's brow scrunched every so slightly, a mixture of happily shocked surprised and confusion as to why Fenris was presenting this to him as a problem. He had liked Hawke when he was first in the Fleet, they got on well, and he had never properly met Anders, but he was sure he was nice enough too. ]
They're back? That's - well, I won't say good, because they're back, but it'll be good to see them again. I rather missed Hawke's particularly antics on the obstacle course.
[ He slicked back his hair again, reaching for a cloth to soap up. ]
Why would them being on the ship be a problem?
[ Other than what he assumed to be potentially more sex sounds, as that would make three couples on the ship now. ]
[Fenris exhales, folding his arms, leaning back against the wall- his brow furrowed. He had missed Adalwolfe- complicated as their relationship was, a tiny part of him had almost missed Anders too. Almost. A thought that does not sit well with him. ]
I doubt either of them will be overly happy when they learn what I did to Marian. [Adalwolfe especially is going to be pissed. ] I don't particularly care what either of them think- but I am concerned about how they will treat you.
[ Oh. Yes. That. Just when he thought they might have begun to move a little bit on from that, it came around to bite them again. In a karmatic sense, he supposed they deserved it, but even so, it was becoming tiresome. The accounts, as far as he could tell, had been settled with the parties most involved - even though he could understand the anger of close friends.
He sighed, working at the cloth to bring up the suds. His heart did a little skip when Fenris admitted his concern, his mouth quirking the tiniest bit at one corner to betray the sensation. ]
That is for me to deal with them about - cross that bridge when you get, there as they say. Though I appreciate the heads up.
[ He held up the cloth, dripping soap. ]
Now help a sore man wash his back?
[ Something nice, to ease the sting of loss and the contemplation of an unhappy reunion with a former friend, if Fenris' words were anything to go by. ]
[He was tired of it, too. But he knew it was well deserved. Only time would heal a wound such as that- and he doubted those two here would do anything to hasten that forwards. Still, at least Kirk was prepared, should the worst happen. Though he'd rather the man not face any of the burden at all, if he could help it.
Finally, he makes a soft noise of assent. He slips his own clothes off, leaving them to pool haphazardly on the floor, as he steps into the shower. He leans up to kiss Kirk between the shower blades, taking the cloth from him. He gently rubs the cloth over the man's back, sudding up the skin, fingers pressing carefully on underused muscles, kneading them back to life. ]
Thank you. At least one thing is still holding true around it - never a dull moment.
[ It comes out a little more hollow than he meant it too, recalling what it was Fenris had lived through - a planet dying. At least it felt a little less horrid than the way Vulcan had died. A comet was natural - or so he hoped. He dearly, dearly wanted to hope the Fleet had not sacrificed a planet, possibly billions of people, for the sake of drama. And if they had...
If they had, he would find a way to make them pay. He knew he shouldn't lean towards vengeance, but those people on that planet deserved justice if what happened had been intentional.
Such thoughts lay low when he felt Fenris' lips press to his skin, the rough hands working at his muscles. Another groan left him, deeper and more resonate than when the water had first hit. One hand reached back, brushing over Fenris' thigh, finding the paths of lyrium to follow on instinct. ]
I would think we were in a diffident place entirely if that were ever the case.
[His tone is dry, Atroma will never allow them to have much reprieve. That was just the way of things. Best to accept it and learn to roll with their punches.
He smiles a little to himself at the sounds Kirk makes, all the more pleased to know he is the one who is causing them. He shifts against his touch, welcoming it, he's missed it this past moth. His hands move to Kirk's shoulders, roughly massaging into them, working out a month's worth of inaction out of them. ]
[ Fenris was just full of surprising talents, wasn't he? He rolled his shoulders into the elf's grip, feeling his muscles come alive, sizzling beneath the pressure of his fingers. Slowly he turned, facing him now and wrapping his arms around the smaller man. His thumb drew circles at the small of his back, his other hand reaching up to slick back silver hair. It was a good look on him. ]
I missed you too. Dreams aren't as good as the reality.
[That was possibly the corniest and also most romantic thing anyone has ever said to him. It's ridiculous, how that makes his heart skip a beat- how he feels a giddy flutter in his stomach. Like being a love-struck teenager.
...Or rather, what he assumes being a love-struck teenager would feel like. He rolls his eyes at it, letting out a soft 'tch' in response. Still, he returns that kiss, deepening it slowly, pouring into it the feelings he cannot yet allow to come to fruition, the words he is not sure he will ever truly be able to say. All go into that kiss. ]
[ Reading lips had always been one of Kirk's talents, more so when he had said the same things with kisses before. He cupped the back of his head, returning the longing, the words that went unsaid and lay tangled in the depths of his heart. The sharpness of teeth on his lips, musky scents, the warm slide of tongues - sensations he had been forgetting, going bleeding out of their lines like the images of those he cared for.
He pulled back, panting, letting out a warm laugh against Fenris' cheek. ]
[His voice is a little more husky from the kiss, a smirk playing across his lips. His fingers move up to brush Kirk's hair side a little, wiping away a few droplets of water in the process. ]
I believe you were supposed to be getting clean.
[He says these words, but he clearly does not care one iota that they are not using the shower for its intended purpose. ]
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universal_charm) wrote2024-04-11 06:26 pm
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His fingers move to the back of Kirk's head as he rests against his shoulder. His fingers brush through the hairs on the back of his neck, an attempt at soothing him. ]
Fine. It was exhausting, but I am fine.
[Most of the deceased were strangers to him, aside from Kaidan. Besides, grief is not something he tends to wallow in. Death is something he accepts with the horrible finality it usually is. Perhaps they will return, perhaps they will not. It is all out of their hands. He doesn't voice it, he doesn't want to appear heartless, especially not now. It would only make it harder for Kirk in the long run. ]
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So he lifted his head, touching their foreheads in quiet acceptance but the unspoken offer to hear more if he wished. Pulling back, he smacked his lips and grimaced. ]
Are you to exhausted to help me to the bathroom then? I desperately need to brush my teeth.
[ Among other things - like piss - but he didn't feel the need to say that part aloud. Standing, however, seemed a touch daunting after so long abed, his muscles tight in very unpleasant ways. ]
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Yes. You absolutely need to do that.
[If you ever need brutal honesty, Fenris is the one to turn to. He slips off the bed to stand, offering his free hand. ]
Come on, then.
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Do you mind hanging around while I shower? You know, just in case I fall.
[ So asked just before he stuck a tooth brush in his mouth, feeling better just at the first scrub. Minty fresh. First his mouth, and then his body. He didn't think it was to bad, but if nothing else it should warm up his muscles and help him wake up some more. A jump start, so to speak. ]
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I can stay for as long as you need me. Take your time. I'll still be here.
[In more ways than one. ]
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[ A humming sound of acknowledgement was all he could manage as he scrubbed, vigorously working at his tongue. God, why did the human mouth get so disgusting overnight? Or, well, over several nights in his case? A spit and rinse and he began to feel a little more human, looking to the showers hungrily. ]
Mind getting it started while I undress? You won't miss anything, promise.
[ He flashed his trade marked smile, leaning back against the sink to start working out of his clothes. Fingers fumbled with buttons and zippers, hands not quite understanding complex movement after so long with barely a twitch. ]
Damn, if this is what getting old is going to be like...
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I'm sure it's not all that bad.
[He moves to step in front of Kirk, far more deft fingers moving in, opening the button of his shirt for him.]
Here. Let me help.
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[ Kirk relented, choosing to simply watch Fenris instead. It felt so good to see him again. For a while there, in his dreams, he thought Fenris had begun to grow fuzzy. Remy too, and Kaidan. Kitty. Kara. Kurt. Everyone in the fleet losing clarity in the dreams, softening around the edges like watercolors. His arms reached up and wrapped around Fenris, tugging him close when his clothing was undone. ]
Thank you, for reading to me - you know, while I was asleep. You've improved.
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I am glad to hear it. And I wished to keep you company, while you slept. I did not like the thought of you being alone.
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Yeah, I don't like the thought of being alone either. Or you being alone. I'm sorry that I left you alone, especially with what happened.
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taking comfort in the small action. Everything had been awful, and there were times he had honestly worried if he had been doing the right thing- if Kirk's decision to make him First Mate had been an incorrect one. Had he truly done enough? He did not know.]
It is fine, it is not the first time.
[That...came out wrong. He sighs, frustrated.]
I mean. I am capable of dealing with things alone. You need not worry about me. I have survived worse.
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[ He looked up and over at the shower, steaming now. ]
Like a shower after a coma.
[ A rub along Fenris' back to get him to let him up and shrug out of his clothing. Ship rules - no wasting water. He could hold Fenris later, be more effective at it with muscles that were more awake and limber. Not to mention he was sure he would smell better. Yes, shower first - most definitely, practically a siren call now. ]
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[None of them died, so that's...a win, right? Probably. He stands to one side, to allow Kirk to move to his shower, doing as he promised and staying for him. ]
Well, I would not wish for you to fall and bang your head. You've only just woken up.
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[ He squeezed Fenris' shoulder and manages to get beneath the spray on his own. He groaned aloud as the heat sank in, and for a moment he thought there might be a real possibility he would orgasm from that sensation alone. He scrubbed water against his skin and through his hair, slicking it back and breathing in the steam. ]
Ooooh, this is the best shower I've ever had.
[ He opened his eyes and looked to Fenris, casting him one of those flirtatious smiles. Clearly his spirits were lifting. ]
You're missing out over there.
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I am glad that I did not let you down when it mattered.
[Oh, Maker, that groan. Fenris' eyes darken in reaction to it as they rake up the length of Kirk's body. A smirk tugs at his lips, as his pulse increases. There's a real temptation to disrobe and join him. To press him up against the shower wall and very much undo any cleaning going on.]
Oh, I can see that much for myself. [He hesitates. It's not just that Kirk is probably trying to process his losses that makes him pause. They promised to be honest with one another, and he would be remiss if he said nothing. ]
...I should warn you. Adalwolfe and Anders have returned...if you remember them from last time. They transferred onto this ship together for some Maker-damned reason.
[So trouble might be brewing on the horizon. ]
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They're back? That's - well, I won't say good, because they're back, but it'll be good to see them again. I rather missed Hawke's particularly antics on the obstacle course.
[ He slicked back his hair again, reaching for a cloth to soap up. ]
Why would them being on the ship be a problem?
[ Other than what he assumed to be potentially more sex sounds, as that would make three couples on the ship now. ]
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I doubt either of them will be overly happy when they learn what I did to Marian. [Adalwolfe especially is going to be pissed. ] I don't particularly care what either of them think- but I am concerned about how they will treat you.
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He sighed, working at the cloth to bring up the suds. His heart did a little skip when Fenris admitted his concern, his mouth quirking the tiniest bit at one corner to betray the sensation. ]
That is for me to deal with them about - cross that bridge when you get, there as they say. Though I appreciate the heads up.
[ He held up the cloth, dripping soap. ]
Now help a sore man wash his back?
[ Something nice, to ease the sting of loss and the contemplation of an unhappy reunion with a former friend, if Fenris' words were anything to go by. ]
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[He was tired of it, too. But he knew it was well deserved. Only time would heal a wound such as that- and he doubted those two here would do anything to hasten that forwards. Still, at least Kirk was prepared, should the worst happen. Though he'd rather the man not face any of the burden at all, if he could help it.
Finally, he makes a soft noise of assent. He slips his own clothes off, leaving them to pool haphazardly on the floor, as he steps into the shower. He leans up to kiss Kirk between the shower blades, taking the cloth from him. He gently rubs the cloth over the man's back, sudding up the skin, fingers pressing carefully on underused muscles, kneading them back to life. ]
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[ It comes out a little more hollow than he meant it too, recalling what it was Fenris had lived through - a planet dying. At least it felt a little less horrid than the way Vulcan had died. A comet was natural - or so he hoped. He dearly, dearly wanted to hope the Fleet had not sacrificed a planet, possibly billions of people, for the sake of drama. And if they had...
If they had, he would find a way to make them pay. He knew he shouldn't lean towards vengeance, but those people on that planet deserved justice if what happened had been intentional.
Such thoughts lay low when he felt Fenris' lips press to his skin, the rough hands working at his muscles. Another groan left him, deeper and more resonate than when the water had first hit. One hand reached back, brushing over Fenris' thigh, finding the paths of lyrium to follow on instinct. ]
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[His tone is dry, Atroma will never allow them to have much reprieve. That was just the way of things. Best to accept it and learn to roll with their punches.
He smiles a little to himself at the sounds Kirk makes, all the more pleased to know he is the one who is causing them. He shifts against his touch, welcoming it, he's missed it this past moth. His hands move to Kirk's shoulders, roughly massaging into them, working out a month's worth of inaction out of them. ]
I have missed you.
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I missed you too. Dreams aren't as good as the reality.
[ He bent down, gently brushing their lips. ]
Honey, I'm home.
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...Or rather, what he assumes being a love-struck teenager would feel like. He rolls his eyes at it, letting out a soft 'tch' in response. Still, he returns that kiss, deepening it slowly, pouring into it the feelings he cannot yet allow to come to fruition, the words he is not sure he will ever truly be able to say. All go into that kiss. ]
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He pulled back, panting, letting out a warm laugh against Fenris' cheek. ]
Well, good morning to you too, Fenris.
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[His voice is a little more husky from the kiss, a smirk playing across his lips. His fingers move up to brush Kirk's hair side a little, wiping away a few droplets of water in the process. ]
I believe you were supposed to be getting clean.
[He says these words, but he clearly does not care one iota that they are not using the shower for its intended purpose. ]
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