[ Kirk did not enjoy these talks. He hated it even on his own ship. But he knew that to say nothing, to let it fester, would only harm the relationship they had built in the long run. He did not want that, and frankly he didn't think Fenris understood why he would be upset at all.
His mouth remained in a hard line, sitting in his chair with his legs crossed, looking stern, very much the captain. ]
[Fenris tries and fails to stop his lip from curling a little. Him and authority are not good bedfellows at the best of time since his escape. This, he is not liking at all. He has to remind himself that he should at least attempt to talk here- that Kirk has earned his respect enough for that. He can't just walk out, however much he wants to. ]
[ Kirk saw the curl of his lip and he sighed, resisting the urge to
rub the bridge of his nose. He couldn't discipline Fenris, this was true,
and he tried his best to respect Fenris' dislike of authority. Honestly he
could sympathize. But this wasn't about authority so much as it was about a
betrayal of trust. ]
Fenris, do you understand why I wanted her off the ship? And no, it really
had nothing to do with my ego, despite what Isabella said.
[Fenris is never one of lying, he's not ashamed to admit if he doesn't understand something. He's rather good at the truth, even when it's blunt. ]
I would have understood if she attacked someone outright or had actually stolen something. It seemed you wished for me to remove a member of my family from the ship because of a potential crime she could commit.
[ He had suspected as much. She had said Fenris knew here and he
hadn't doubted it then, especially not with the way Fenris handled the
situation, but this would only make things harder. ]
She had already done something wrong Fenris. She was poking around our
ship, without permission. She had crawled into a damn vent, Fenris.
From there should could have gotten into any room - yours, mine, Kara,
Winn's, Jarvis, Chloe's. All of them. I have a feeling she would have too
given the chance.
She clearly had no respect for the people on this ship or their right to
their privacy. Would you have liked it if one of my family from my world
suddenly dropped into your room and began rifling through your things? Or
if some stranger you didn't know decided to go wandering through your
house, peeking into the cabinets? No? It's the same thing. She did more
than disrespect me. She disrespected this ship, this home, and that
was all the reason I needed to want her off.
[ He was quiet for a moment, letting that sink in, if it did at all.
Sometimes he was unsure of what Fenris was capable of understanding, of why
he felt things were violations and others were not. ]
As for the rest - for the way you 'admonished her'... God, Fenris, that was
just fucking insulting.
[ It had hurt him, made clear by the twitch in his jaw and the way he
gripped his hands in his lap, the tense shift of his shoulders. ]
[There's the temptation to snap back, to snarl and rail off against Kirk. Had it been a few years ago, he probably would have. No. He probably would have taken a swing at Kirk and then railed off at him.
But Fenris is trying to be a better person these days. He trying to be in control of his anger, instead of letting it control him. For a second, his hand twitches, almost a fist, but he holds it back. Breathe. Don't. Think. ]
Then why not sit down to her? Talk to her about it? Why did it have to start with ejecting her from the ship?
Look. I understand that she is...exceptionally difficult. Respect is very much earned with her. But surely speaking with her should have been the first action? She's difficult but she's not completely unreasonable. She was worried about me, given the attack and all. She- had good reason to be.
[He remembers how she reacted when she first saw him, when she arrived. That...was not good news for him to hear from her. It mean that in not one, but two worlds he had been killed at the hands of someone he trusted. It wasn't comforting.
He glances over at Kirk, and some of the anger twisted up inside him fades away. The scowl vanishes. The elf glances down at the floor, brow furrowing. ]
...For that, I apologise. I was...angry. I did not handle the situation well.
I had talked to her. She came onto this ship without permission, I found her, asked her what she was doing here. She asked for you and I asked her to please wait in the kitchen for you. I came back, and she was gone. I was civil with her, despite the fact I didn't appreciate she did not wait to get buzzed onto our ship, which is a security issue that needs addressing.
So there was a discussion. She simply chose not to care.
[ Which was what had really angered him. Not that she had disobeyed an order because he had never given one. But that she had been so intensely rude and had violated the small bit of trust he had leant her based on her word as a friend of Fenris.
He was quiet for a second after his apology and sighed. ]
[He talked to her and she ignored him. Of course she did. Fenris rubs a hand over his face, exhaling loudly. He doesn't swear often, and when he does, it's usually in Tevene- when he feels the need. This is one of those times. ]
Fasta vass, Isabela.
[Wonderful. Now he looks like an asshole AND Kirk got beat up. But, he knows he needs to explain more, even if it would be dobbing Isabela in for actually being able to show concern for the people she cared about. He'd normally hope she'd forgive him for such a transgression, but right now, he really doesn't care. ]
I'm sorry for her behaviour. I- look. She would never admit it in a hundred years, but she was likely worried about me- and she barely listens to rules at the best of times, when concern takes over, well...
[There's a pause, he hates talking about this. Hates facing it's a real possibility in some worlds.]
In her version of Thedas, I am dead. After seeing the attack on our ship... I am not one to ever dare try to understand the woman, but if I were putting my coin on a reason she came here so abruptly and so determined to find me, I would put it on that.
[ A brief talk, but a talk, and a polite ask rather than a demand. He felt it counted, and was more than enough to have warranted his reaction when Fenris caught up with them.
He listened quietly to Fenris, patient as usual with the elf. It shocked him to hear that in some worlds Fenris was dead, and he imagined being told about it would weigh heavy. To see someone you cared about deeply suddenly back to life, he could hardly imagine how one might act, how protective one might become. If he had Pike back... ]
I am fine with her coming to see you, Fenris. Visitors are welcome, I would just like them to be respectful of this ship and the other people on it.
So, I suppose this once, I'll let it go. She's welcome back if you can get her to promise not to poke around and respect the crew's privacy. I know it's a tall order, but that's important. We're stuck in these tin cans more often than not, and we need those spaces for ourselves. Having them violated will just put us through unnecessary stress.
['How decent of you' is the snarky remark that Fenris bites down. Because he knows Kirk doesn't mean it condescendingly. It's his own issues there, bubbling to the surface.]
I doubt I could get her to promise anything. But I will tell her your wishes. I warn you, she may end up being ejected a lot. There is a good chance she would see it as a challenge.
[Despite the words being disdainful, there's is a touch of fondness in his voice, too. Isabela means a lot to him, obnoxious as she can be.]
[ He sighed at that, running a hand through his hair and slumping a bit in his chair. Like a parent who has accepted the will of his child is not worth fighting. Or a man resigning himself to a long week of work because those reports are due. Some things are inevitable. ]
Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
[ He glanced at Fenris and smiled softly. ]
I'm glad you've had more friends show up. Maybe the next one won't be so intent on throwing a right hook though.
Oh, he's hardly a God king. He's just...very devout and wishes to make sure people are aware of it.
[He knows a lot of it is due to Sebastian having misgiving about his path in life, overcompensating, but he doesn't say that. His tone is fond though, best friend, best friend. ]
He is a very dear friend of mine- preaching aside.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
universal_charm) wrote2024-04-11 06:26 pm
no subject
His mouth remained in a hard line, sitting in his chair with his legs crossed, looking stern, very much the captain. ]
It is, to a degree. It is more about you, though.
no subject
Right. Of course it is.
no subject
[ Kirk saw the curl of his lip and he sighed, resisting the urge to rub the bridge of his nose. He couldn't discipline Fenris, this was true, and he tried his best to respect Fenris' dislike of authority. Honestly he could sympathize. But this wasn't about authority so much as it was about a betrayal of trust. ]
Fenris, do you understand why I wanted her off the ship? And no, it really had nothing to do with my ego, despite what Isabella said.
no subject
[Fenris is never one of lying, he's not ashamed to admit if he doesn't understand something. He's rather good at the truth, even when it's blunt. ]
I would have understood if she attacked someone outright or had actually stolen something. It seemed you wished for me to remove a member of my family from the ship because of a potential crime she could commit.
no subject
[ He had suspected as much. She had said Fenris knew here and he hadn't doubted it then, especially not with the way Fenris handled the situation, but this would only make things harder. ]
She had already done something wrong Fenris. She was poking around our ship, without permission. She had crawled into a damn vent, Fenris. From there should could have gotten into any room - yours, mine, Kara, Winn's, Jarvis, Chloe's. All of them. I have a feeling she would have too given the chance.
She clearly had no respect for the people on this ship or their right to their privacy. Would you have liked it if one of my family from my world suddenly dropped into your room and began rifling through your things? Or if some stranger you didn't know decided to go wandering through your house, peeking into the cabinets? No? It's the same thing. She did more than disrespect me. She disrespected this ship, this home, and that was all the reason I needed to want her off.
[ He was quiet for a moment, letting that sink in, if it did at all. Sometimes he was unsure of what Fenris was capable of understanding, of why he felt things were violations and others were not. ]
As for the rest - for the way you 'admonished her'... God, Fenris, that was just fucking insulting.
[ It had hurt him, made clear by the twitch in his jaw and the way he gripped his hands in his lap, the tense shift of his shoulders. ]
no subject
But Fenris is trying to be a better person these days. He trying to be in control of his anger, instead of letting it control him. For a second, his hand twitches, almost a fist, but he holds it back. Breathe. Don't. Think. ]
Then why not sit down to her? Talk to her about it? Why did it have to start with ejecting her from the ship?
Look. I understand that she is...exceptionally difficult. Respect is very much earned with her. But surely speaking with her should have been the first action? She's difficult but she's not completely unreasonable. She was worried about me, given the attack and all. She- had good reason to be.
[He remembers how she reacted when she first saw him, when she arrived. That...was not good news for him to hear from her. It mean that in not one, but two worlds he had been killed at the hands of someone he trusted. It wasn't comforting.
He glances over at Kirk, and some of the anger twisted up inside him fades away. The scowl vanishes. The elf glances down at the floor, brow furrowing. ]
...For that, I apologise. I was...angry. I did not handle the situation well.
no subject
I had talked to her. She came onto this ship without permission, I found her, asked her what she was doing here. She asked for you and I asked her to please wait in the kitchen for you. I came back, and she was gone. I was civil with her, despite the fact I didn't appreciate she did not wait to get buzzed onto our ship, which is a security issue that needs addressing.
So there was a discussion. She simply chose not to care.
[ Which was what had really angered him. Not that she had disobeyed an order because he had never given one. But that she had been so intensely rude and had violated the small bit of trust he had leant her based on her word as a friend of Fenris.
He was quiet for a second after his apology and sighed. ]
Apology accepted.
no subject
Fasta vass, Isabela.
[Wonderful. Now he looks like an asshole AND Kirk got beat up. But, he knows he needs to explain more, even if it would be dobbing Isabela in for actually being able to show concern for the people she cared about. He'd normally hope she'd forgive him for such a transgression, but right now, he really doesn't care. ]
I'm sorry for her behaviour. I- look. She would never admit it in a hundred years, but she was likely worried about me- and she barely listens to rules at the best of times, when concern takes over, well...
[There's a pause, he hates talking about this. Hates facing it's a real possibility in some worlds.]
In her version of Thedas, I am dead. After seeing the attack on our ship... I am not one to ever dare try to understand the woman, but if I were putting my coin on a reason she came here so abruptly and so determined to find me, I would put it on that.
no subject
He listened quietly to Fenris, patient as usual with the elf. It shocked him to hear that in some worlds Fenris was dead, and he imagined being told about it would weigh heavy. To see someone you cared about deeply suddenly back to life, he could hardly imagine how one might act, how protective one might become. If he had Pike back... ]
I am fine with her coming to see you, Fenris. Visitors are welcome, I would just like them to be respectful of this ship and the other people on it.
So, I suppose this once, I'll let it go. She's welcome back if you can get her to promise not to poke around and respect the crew's privacy. I know it's a tall order, but that's important. We're stuck in these tin cans more often than not, and we need those spaces for ourselves. Having them violated will just put us through unnecessary stress.
[ He looks at him imploringly. ]
no subject
I doubt I could get her to promise anything. But I will tell her your wishes. I warn you, she may end up being ejected a lot. There is a good chance she would see it as a challenge.
[Despite the words being disdainful, there's is a touch of fondness in his voice, too. Isabela means a lot to him, obnoxious as she can be.]
no subject
Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
[ He glanced at Fenris and smiled softly. ]
I'm glad you've had more friends show up. Maybe the next one won't be so intent on throwing a right hook though.
[ He rubbed his jaw. ]
no subject
I would not count on that. Most of my friends are rather violent.
...Sebastian might not. He would just try to educate you in the Chantry.
no subject
If he does show up, tell him not to waste his breath. Better and meaner men than him have surely tried and failed.
[ He laughed softly. ]
Makes me think of the time I had to take down a God king.
[ He's not even joking. ]
no subject
[He knows a lot of it is due to Sebastian having misgiving about his path in life, overcompensating, but he doesn't say that. His tone is fond though, best friend, best friend. ]
He is a very dear friend of mine- preaching aside.